McDonald's or What Happens When the Seyler's Road Trip

My family never eats fast food. And when we do, we never eat at McDonald's. But on the road to Mexico, Mo., I had a craving, dad grinned with excitement, and Emily and mom's Subway preference was overruled in Rockport, Mo. The McDonald's just off Interstate 29 was insane at dinner time the day before Thanksgiving, made all the more crazy by the Seyler family. We were running about ordering, filling drinks, getting ketchup, finding seats for grandma and deciding what to eat. I (attempted) to satisfy my rare hamburger craving with a quarter pounder with cheese. They look better in the pictures. It was fine, I guess. I wanted the processed cheese and the thin patty, but it tasted much better in my mind than in person. But the fries were just what I expected, greasy and crispy and good. The real trouble started when my dad ordered a double cheeseburger. My mom scowled at him at the counter, "Double cheeseburger!" It took restraint on her part just to say that. ("It's a holiday," she said.) This restraint did not last throughout the rest of dinner. Dad, Al, grandma and I sat down. Mom and Emily stood:

They get really ansy in the car. Emily is the worst. She cannot sit still, so being cooped up in a car is not ideal. My mom used to (I'll use the word) nag Al and I to run around and do jumping jacks before leaving on a family vacation, when we were content to sit in the car and read.

Mom finally sat down towards the end of the meal and asked my dad about his cholesterol level and blood pressure (appropriate conversation for a McDonald's dining room). Apparently, my parents had to get a personal health survey to get a discount on health insurance. My mom scored a 98. My dad did not.

My mom starting laughing and teasing my dad, which was fine. He's used to it by now and can dish it out in turn. But if you know how loud I am, imagine my loud Italian mother. The entire restaurant was looking at our table with my mom bellowing loudly and the rest of the table (minus grandma, plus dad) snickering to ourselves. I whispered, "Mom, everybody is staring at us." We were interupting the aura of peace and tranquility in McDonald's. She didn't care.

I guess justice was served a couple hours later when my mom got pulled over for speeding in Centralia, Mo.