Friday, October 30, 2009

Pumpkin Bars

I was in rare form last night. Or these days, perhaps it's not so rare. I've been extra busy this month with going out of town three weekends in a row on top of all the other stuff--and I hate it. But I choose it; it's all on me. I have a serious problem saying no to people. And the crazy thing is: The less I know/love you, the more likely I am to do whatever you want. It is a lose-lose situation, wherein the people I love most (i.e. family and close friends) get the shaft. I am incredibly annoyed at myself at this moment, thinking of all the times I choose to please others over myself. Is there a group and a 12-step program for people like me?

So yesterday turned out to be frantic when I wanted it to be chill. I ran late for everything, which I hate. When I finally got around to making pumpkin bars for a work potluck, it was destined distaster. There I was, in the kitchen, throwing things into the largest bowl I could find. I discover we have no cooking oil, when I swear we had it in the old place. But genius of genius, I just so happen to have applesauce ready for an occasion such as this. But pumpkin is splattering all over the countertops and on my clothing, which was already covered in splotches of curry sauce from dinner at Mother India. I try to pull out one square of paper towel, and the entire roll comes loose. I end up having too much batter for a 15x10x1-inch jelly roll tray, so I pour the remainder onto another baking sheet, but there's not enough. So I scoop the batter out and plop it into a muffin tin.

Then comes the frosting, which got stuck in every crevice of the mixer. Why are there so many crevices in mixers--they should make them crevice-free! I ended up having to frost the whole thing before work and was late--again, I hate being late. And all I can think about is coming home from work tonight, making some soup and sitting on the couch, beer in hand. But what is actually going to happen is I go straight to dinner and drinks with friends. Why? Because of my conflicting desires to be with people and to be alone. It's a strange phenomenon that allows me to either make the best of any situation or the worst.

Pumpkin Bars: from Food Network
4 eggs
1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
1 15-ounce can pumpkin
1 cup applesauce (or canola/corn/vegetable oil)
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda

For Frosting:
1 8-ounce package cheese cheese (not light)
1/2 cup butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350.

In a large bowl, blend eggs, sugar, pumpkin and applesauce with a mixer. In a separate bowl (I actually did it in one bowl--my one mess-saving step), combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon, salt and baking soda. Incorporate into batter using mixer. Pour batter into a 15x10x1-inch baking sheet and bake for 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool before frosting.

For frosting, in a medium bowl, combine softened butter and cream cheese using a mixer. Work in the sifted powdered sugar (obviously I did not sift the sugar) with the mixer. Finish by blending in the vanilla.

1 comment:

Jess said...

for all the disaster you endured, the pumpkin bars sure look good! but I know exactly what you mean about doing so much for others at the cost of your own sanity and peace. you've got to be gentle to yourself! I have that same conflict of wanting to be with others and wanting to be alone, but these days it's gotten easier as I have to be home by 7pm to get Finn into bed - so I almost always have relaxing (by relaxing I mean filled with homework!) evenings.